Confessed

“Ouch! It’s paining again…” said Andrew to his wife Sadhana. Andrew was suffering from migraine for the last 17 years. He was under medication all along but nothing seemed to help.

Sadhana turned and looked at her husband teary-eyed, "Oh dear! I can’t bear to see you wriggling in pain everyday. Why isn’t the anything helping?”.

Andrew was a man of few words. He was a gem of person, always smiling. If there was anything that anyone needed in their neighborhood people readily knocked his door. He had a daughter named Sarah. Sarah was 12 years old and looked up at her dad as a hero. She always introduced herself as, “Sarah Andrew” before she was finished she puffed up with pride.

Andrew said, "It’s okay dear, I can take it. Please don't worry? I will be alright in an hour or so. But with every passing second the pain seemed to go from bad to worse. He wondered, “why me?” . 

After about 5 hours the pain subsided and he calmed down.

“Hi, can I meet Sir? It’s very urgent. There are not letting my daughter write the exam…”, it was a shabbily dressed man standing near the door. 

The man was interrupted by a voice, "Mathew, come in. Why are you standing there? Sadhana, can you please get Mathew a cup of coffee,” asked Andrew. 

Sadhana walked towards the kitchen admiring Andrew’s patience.

Before Mathew could finish his story Andrew gave him money and said, "Pay up what you've the school, you can think of about other things later.” 

With tears fogging his sight Mathew thanked Andrew and walked away blessing him.

It was raining the whole day. 

Sadhana had gone to her mother’s place as she was not keeping well. So Andrew had to look after his daughter.

“Krrrrrr……” rang the door bell “Comingggg!!!”

As soon as he opened the door a pair of arms wrapped around his neck, “Good evening daddy!” 

“Good evening dear.” They exchanged a warm kiss.

Andrew went into the kitchen prepared her a drink, "Dear, what do u want to have…” He did not get an answer and so he looked down at her. 

She was looking at him without blinking. Andrew was surprised. He walked up to her, kept his hand on her shoulder and said, "Sarah…?”

Before he could complete his sentence,” Dada, I LOVE YOU,” saying so she planted a kiss on his cheeks.

A chill ran down his spine, his hands trembled, his eyes became red. He was sweating profusely. The migraine returned with a vengeance. He was feeling weak. He dropped to the ground unable to bear the pain.

Sarah stood frozen to the ground. She did not understand what had happened to her father Luckily, Sadhana was just back and helped him to bed.

It took him three hours to become normal. He laid there in his bed weak. He was lost in thoughts. His eyes were wet with tears. 

Sadhana walked in with her daughter by her side. She looked at him and said, "Andrew what happened? Why don’t you…?”

“Sadhana and Sarah, I need to tell you both, something. I need to confess,” without waiting for their reply he continued to confess his heart out. Words poured in rhythmic to the pitter-patter outside. 

“During my college days I lived by a river side in a small village. There was a little girl around 12, helping me with my household work. She used to call me dada. She had bright eyes and used to spend most of her evenings with me. One evening, the village was hit by a storm. From my college back to my room I had to take a boat. Since it was raining heavily Diana (the little girl) came searching for me. and bought me back to my room in her boat; even though there was a heavy storm that little girl managed with courage," there was a long pause.

He continued, "As we were nearing the shore the current became stronger. Right before my eyes, Diana fell in the water. The girl screamed and cried asking us to help her. But, the other people in the boat asked me not to and I was suddenly taken over by fear. The boat swayed under the weight of people in it. I looked at Diana. Her resistance and fight to survive slowly weakened. I saw her drowning. She disappeared. Seconds seemed to move like years. I could have done anything but I was just a silent spectator. I reached the shore dead inside," a tear fell with a thud. 

He again continued, "I was alive but, with a guilt so strong, a guilt that I let a child die. Realizing my mistake and recovering from the shock, I ran to the river wanting to save the girl but she was brought by another boat…DEAD.”

There was a long silence. Andrew cried. Sadhana and Sarah watched him, disappointedly. 

After a long pause, Sadhana spoke, “It is a terrible thing you had done to a girl of your daughter’s age. I will never be able to forgive you. But, for all that you are doing now to the people around you I am sure that Diana will forgive you. Forgive yourself.”

Both of them left the room leaving Andrew to himself. He knew his wife and daughter would never look at him the same way, but, at least now he could live in his own skin without feeling ashamed for hiding away from his past. He looked at the sky and said, “Diana, I know I have done something unforgivable but I mean it when I say. I AM SORRY.”

Andrew was back on his feet in a week and as for the migraine it never appeared again.

It left him wondering.