Life's most important ingredient

Remember the time you wanted something so badly that you fast tracked your process and paused everything else? How did it feel afterwards? Once you received what you so wanted, what happened to that intense feeling you had? Didn't it subside? That enticing feeling you had is not eternal. The question here is, what happened to your goal afterwards?

Let's talk about a common scenario here: You are actually interested in buying a car, you work for it and buy it after toiling for months sometimes years. The car is in pristine condition for a month, then a year but what happens to the inside of your car after that? If your car doesn't smell as good as you want it to, if the outside of the car is deceiving to the insides it just means you have no respect to your inner being.

For some reason you have loved this car and enjoyed owning it. Every material object costs more to maintain than to buy it. Have you ever wondered why? It's called the maintenance phase. Maintenance defines who you are rather than your love for the object. No person in the world is continuously in love with any given object, forever. So when you make the effort to maintain something, it speaks of volumes of how much you value yourself as a person.

Now the same rule applies to relationship. Your love for your partner doesn't expire but it will lose its charm if you don't polish it up occasionally with a smile, a kiss and carrying a morning breakfast to bed. No body will tell you the secret to a successful relationship is the everyday effort you effortlessly make to show your partner how much you love them and how much you appreciate what they do for. Trust is fragile so be very cautious when you make promises or commitments. Once if you fail it is acceptable, twice is forgivable but more than that it is taking advantage of your partner. Relationships do not break under stress they break under boredom and lack of maintenance.

Your body is yet another beautiful example of how the world works naturally. You were sent down with a perfect body and soul, now its your duty to sustain it with good food, exercise and a calm mind. If you fail to, your body deters from its ideal state. Look down at your body now, if it isn't what you want it to be, it is because you have failed to maintain and you have failed to sustain life in it. Go ahead and start working on yourself. The best time to do something was yesterday the next best time is now!

If there is one habit you want to make as your second nature - make maintenance your second nature. Maintain things in your life, your car should smell fresh and your driving experience should excite you for the new day, your clothes should be pressed and ready for the next day, your house should smell refreshing and clean, your relationships should be enticing and finally your body and mind should reflect who you are - if it is not as good as who you think you are, get to work.

The main reason we fail is not because we don't achieve anything, it is because we fail to show continued interest in our relationships, achievements and possessions. If something isn't worthy of maintenance then donate it to someone else. Remove things that are not worth preserving that way you make room for more in your life. If you think re-buying is the way to go, let me tell you - life will feel alienated because you will no longer relate to the ' everyday new' things and people in your life. Life is no longer a continuous process. Always choose life wisely.

Upkeep(ing) your self by Maintain(ing) is the key ingredient in life. 

Being a women

I had to wait until the world finished celebrating 'women's' day so that this post wouldn't be read on the lines of the usual cliché. Women like men have more or less the same set of reason to live. What differs is the method 'She' has to adopt to live that life. After marriage, not many changes in the life a man - same house, same job, same friends and same life. After a baby - a man's life tends to change a little bit with the additional responsibility. Every day remains more less the same for a man.

This post does not intend to generalize, it is an effort to pick on the social and cultural norms that define a woman's life. 

Once a girl reaches puberty the rules of the society changes drastically because the world outside is viewed as a horrendous place to live in. Girls are asked to be on guard - always. Her curfew limits are limited, her dressing style is scrutinized, she is asked to eat as much as she wants to weigh, she has to sit 'like a girl' and live 'like a girl'. Boys (may) also have the similar set of rules and I would like to not discuss about it much here because by itself it is a different topic.

Once a women gets married, her immediate family changes, her job changes (depending on where her husband works at times) and her responsibility changes. Even if everything around her remains, nothing inside of her does. Waking up to doing things out of love, being taunted by the other women who finds it difficult to accept that 'her son' now has another women in his life, cooking to the taste of the new family, getting accustomed to a different lifestyle, answering questions about how and why she does things, the extended family thinks its fine to ask you even intimate questions because they believe its out of concern and its their effort to understand you, screaming inside to the bullshit and act as if everything is fine and finally, sometimes living a life she never imagined.

But here comes the twist, not every women faces this, but most of them do. Giving birth to a child is an extraordinary experience no doubt. But, what nobody tells a women is how much she'd feel and be different. She will no longer be herself. She will feel so different and disconnected with the new her. She will now be awake or rather conscious at a whole new level that you never knew existed. She will be awake even when you think she is asleep. She will hear her child every second and will feel like she is listening to her baby's voice even when the she is ummm... flushing the toilet. She will go ahead wash things over and over again because she wants it to be 'clean', she is actively thinking of her little baby's schedule and how she can fit in her life in it. Bathing and eating becomes a luxury nothing else is of priority. Don't get me wrong, she actually enjoys it, no doubt.

A woman becomes and is always 'vulnerable'. I leave it here with that. Everyday a women has to decide her life around constantly trying to keep herself safe. Trying to decide what she has to do so she does not put herself in danger or rather she ensures she does not become a prey. The feeling of having to watch your back always isn't empowering. A women has to remember that she is not a half of anything or anyone. She was created as a whole, just like a man.

Why do we have to celebrate a day, exclusively? Because it is a way to thank all the men around the world for ensuring a women's safety and well-being by being a real man. It is to remind women that the world is a great place to live in and every effort they make is appreciated and recognized by the 'real men' of the society. A man holding the door (no, I am not asking a man to hold the door, but when he does) for a women is as important as a man standing up for a women. This day is to remember all the men who make the effort and all the women who recognize and appreciate the effort.

Let me tell you something every women wants to tell every man in her life - thanks for respecting and loving the women in your life.

Happy gentleman's day!

Five things we take for granted

Many of you would have noticed that I hadn't posted anything in the last two weeks. It was a nightmare to be down with a viral fever the same time my baby was down with a viral fever.

Over the last couple of days I realized five things I had taken for granted all along.

Breathing

Yes, you read it right, breathing tops the list of things we take for granted. The normal process of inhaling and exhaling without even being conscious of it is a blessing. Imagine if you had to use a nebulizer or alike to get yourself to breath. I woke up unable to breathe. My nose bled, humidifier helped to an extent but the dry cold air just didn't feel good. Having to breathe to keep myself alive seemed too much of an chore.

I remembered the days I sighed, breathed deep, exhaled in relief - breathing is the only way to stay alive. To make yourself aware of your life and to live in the moment all you need to do is be conscious of your breathing. You can kick out negative thoughts by just focusing on your breathing for a minute i.e, sixty long seconds.

Health

Most of us have one blessing that we take for granted the most. It's our health. As it is, irrespective of whether you like it in the now. Your health is helping you live today. Work towards making it stronger, healthier and better with every passing day.

What you do

When I was sick I literally had no energy to do anything. I just dragged myself to keep the house running. My husband helped me with most of it, but it hit my self-esteem bad. When you come to a point in life when you can actually not be able to do anything, you realize how much you had taken it for granted. Whatever you are doing right now, as a student, employee, home maker or friend has a special purpose in this world. If you are unable to do what you are doing it will dawn on you that the most important person you have taken for granted is you and your health. Never underestimate what you do!

Sleep

I had a great aversion to sleeping. I always put everything else before sleep; reading, talking, exercising, chores - if there was something incomplete I always had the tendency to compromise on my sleep to attain success. My baby did exactly the opposite of it. She played a little less than usual, slept well and ate well - she recovered way before me. Realization hit me with a lightening. The next time you are feeling down and tired, take a nap. Get rest, give yourself a break a much deserved break and you will recover way faster than you imagine. Sleep plays an important role in your life.

Sleep has a beautiful way of reminding you of a new day, the promises to keep, the goals to attain and your hopes are replenished because you are no longer working against time. In a state of true calm you will be able to let go and relax which will actually open more doors that you ever saw.

Saying Thanks

I always tell my family how grateful I am to have them in my life on occasions. But this is one time I realized that saying 'thanks' for even little things will make you feel better. I said thanks to my mailman for carrying the parcel right up to my door and his smile warmed my heart, I thanked my neighbor for some home cooked food because it made me feel cared for, I thanked my mom for calling up to check on me everyday because it made me realize how much 'distance' is a mere word. I thanked a fellow reader for checking on me when I hadn't posted anything in a while because it rejuvenated my hope of writing. I thanked my husband for staying with me to ensure I was healthy because it made me realize how lucky I am.

If you receive something and think it is no big deal just go ahead and 'thank' it will make you feel better and make you realize how important the people in your life are.

Be happy with what you have and who you are at the same time striving to be better. Never take positivity and optimism for granted. Stay happy!

Say 'THANKS" If You Have...

Wondering what to be grateful for? Here is a list of things that many people don't get to enjoy. If you have them, it is time to say, "Thank You"

• Friends who mean you good and who are ready to spend time with you for your happiness and well being are rare to find, so be grateful if you have such friends. 

• Food on your plate, not everyone gets to eat everyday and three meals a day. 

•  Job that pays you, however less you think it is. Remember 'unemployment' is still a thing. 

•  A house to live in, big or small, loud or quiet, fun or not; be grateful you have a shelter to come back to. A place you can call home is where you spend most of your time. 

•  783 million people do not have access to clean water to drink. That means you are million times fortunate enough to say 'thanks' 

•  If you have a person you can confide in, you have yet another reason to say thanks. 

•  Friends come a long way in life. If you have an opportunity to make friends, you have another reason to say thanks.

•  How about your parents? I don't need to exaggerate that!

• Finally say thanks for who you are and how far you've come in life!

There Are NO Accidents

Do you know that there are no accidents and no coincidences? Next time you have a intuition pursue it because it could be your 'Light Bulb Moment'. Here are a couple of accidental millionaires who lived their dreams.  

Biologist Alexander Fleming took an August vacation from his day-to-day work in the lab investigating staph. On Sept. 3, 1928 he returned to work and found a strange fungus on a culture he had left in his lab. This fungus had killed off all surrounding bacteria in the culture and this led to the invention of Penicillin. Sometimes a break from what you are obsessed about is good! 

Percy Spencer was an American engineer who, while working in front of a magnetron noticed that the chocolate bar he had in his pocket melted from the microwaves. In 1945 Spencer successfully invented the first microwave oven. Now microwaves have an irreplaceable place in our kitchens.

On a hiking trip, a Swiss engineer named Georges de Mestral found little burs clinging to his pants. On closer inspection, he found that the bur's hooks would cling to anything loop-shaped including his dog's fur. It got him into wondering if he could only artificially re-create the loops, he might be on to something. That's how Velcro came into existence. This is a case of  observation creating invention.

Spencer Silver was working at 3M trying to create super strong adhesives for use in the aerospace industry in building planes. Instead of a super strong adhesive, though, he accidentally managed to create an incredibly weak, pressure sensitive adhesive agent called Acrylate Copolymer Microspheres. No application for the lightly sticky stuff was apparent until Fry, Silver's friend, used it in his to mark hymns in his choir. 

Chef George Crum created the salty snack in 1853, fed up with a customer who continuously sent his fried potatoes back, complaining that they were soggy and not crunchy enough, Crum sliced the potatoes as thin as possible, fried them in hot grease, then doused them with salt. The customer loved them. 

In 1905, eleven-year-old Frank Epperson left a cup of soda water, and a stirring stick on his porch. The next day he noticed that the mixture had frozen into a tasty staple. He named it "Epsicle" but his children, persuaded him to call it Pop's 'sicle, that's how Popsicles were born. 

Emotionally Strong People

To succeed in life one has to be physically fit, mentally capable and emotionally strong. So what do the physically fit do? They train their bodies in endurance and sustenance. What do mentally capable people do? They workout everything to the finest detail with abundant useful information. Now, what about emotionally strong people? Here you go...

Forgive and forget

Emotionally strong people forgive and forget, they do not hold grudges and practice hate speech in their minds. They do not remind themselves of how difficult it was and they do not relive the horror of pain and embarrassment over and over again in their head. They not only forgive people and forget their wrong but accept apologies with grace.

No to Condescending

They do not let people belittle them. They say no to condescending talks and firmly let people know how important it is to not look down. Often the people who hold us back the most are those closest to us and getting rid of them sometimes is the best solution. Emotionally strong people quietly remove these people from their lives therefore releasing them from emotional triggers. 

Passionate Doers

Emotionally strong people have a passion and purpose in life. They do their thing without worrying about critics and opinions. They believe in themselves and work on building their dream. They have a passion in doing things, they do it with passion or not at all. 

Being nice is a choice

These people know that being nice is a choice. They don't intimidate people with their questions nor do they belittle people with their bickering. They let people make their choices and chose to say nice things because they are believe in themselves. They do not fend of on someone's failures or wrong. 

Doors in walls

What would happen if there is nothing at all around you? Anybody and everybody will walk-in or walk over you. Now what if there are only walls around you? No one comes to you, period. Emotionally strong people know that it is important to choose who to let in and who not to. They don't let people in their lives to make the decisions for them. They choose to keep their life private instead of letting it out in public. They don't let people question their beliefs or crush their enthusiasm. 

Good Morning World

Emotionally strong people don't experience Monday Blues or Sunday Sunshines! They know life is a choice and wake up excited for a new day, new opportunity and new places. They are excited because their work is their passion, their friends are real and their job is being happy. They are not running a race so they are as excited to smell a flower as they would be to dance in a party. 

No, I Wont

Emotionally strong people say 'No' when they have to. Saying 'No' at the right time saves a lot of headache and heartache, emotionally strong people know this very well. They have their own moral values and do not compromise it, they do not do what they should not.

Social Responsibility with Personal Life

Emotionally strong people believe in giving back to the society as a whole. They give back to the earth, their jobs, their friends and family and to themselves. They are loved and are not scared to love back. They understand that certain times relationships don't work because it didn't work as a couple so they are not heartbroken and afraid to love. 

Resilience

Emotionally strong people know the importance of resilience that they practice it diligently. They do have their share of highs and lows. They may not love every second of what they are doing, but they do what they have to do because they know it will bring them one step closer to what they would love to do.

Dressing like a woman

"Over the years I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who is wearing it." - Yves Saint-Laurent