Life's most important ingredient

Remember the time you wanted something so badly that you fast tracked your process and paused everything else? How did it feel afterwards? Once you received what you so wanted, what happened to that intense feeling you had? Didn't it subside? That enticing feeling you had is not eternal. The question here is, what happened to your goal afterwards?

Let's talk about a common scenario here: You are actually interested in buying a car, you work for it and buy it after toiling for months sometimes years. The car is in pristine condition for a month, then a year but what happens to the inside of your car after that? If your car doesn't smell as good as you want it to, if the outside of the car is deceiving to the insides it just means you have no respect to your inner being.

For some reason you have loved this car and enjoyed owning it. Every material object costs more to maintain than to buy it. Have you ever wondered why? It's called the maintenance phase. Maintenance defines who you are rather than your love for the object. No person in the world is continuously in love with any given object, forever. So when you make the effort to maintain something, it speaks of volumes of how much you value yourself as a person.

Now the same rule applies to relationship. Your love for your partner doesn't expire but it will lose its charm if you don't polish it up occasionally with a smile, a kiss and carrying a morning breakfast to bed. No body will tell you the secret to a successful relationship is the everyday effort you effortlessly make to show your partner how much you love them and how much you appreciate what they do for. Trust is fragile so be very cautious when you make promises or commitments. Once if you fail it is acceptable, twice is forgivable but more than that it is taking advantage of your partner. Relationships do not break under stress they break under boredom and lack of maintenance.

Your body is yet another beautiful example of how the world works naturally. You were sent down with a perfect body and soul, now its your duty to sustain it with good food, exercise and a calm mind. If you fail to, your body deters from its ideal state. Look down at your body now, if it isn't what you want it to be, it is because you have failed to maintain and you have failed to sustain life in it. Go ahead and start working on yourself. The best time to do something was yesterday the next best time is now!

If there is one habit you want to make as your second nature - make maintenance your second nature. Maintain things in your life, your car should smell fresh and your driving experience should excite you for the new day, your clothes should be pressed and ready for the next day, your house should smell refreshing and clean, your relationships should be enticing and finally your body and mind should reflect who you are - if it is not as good as who you think you are, get to work.

The main reason we fail is not because we don't achieve anything, it is because we fail to show continued interest in our relationships, achievements and possessions. If something isn't worthy of maintenance then donate it to someone else. Remove things that are not worth preserving that way you make room for more in your life. If you think re-buying is the way to go, let me tell you - life will feel alienated because you will no longer relate to the ' everyday new' things and people in your life. Life is no longer a continuous process. Always choose life wisely.

Upkeep(ing) your self by Maintain(ing) is the key ingredient in life. 

Being a women

I had to wait until the world finished celebrating 'women's' day so that this post wouldn't be read on the lines of the usual cliché. Women like men have more or less the same set of reason to live. What differs is the method 'She' has to adopt to live that life. After marriage, not many changes in the life a man - same house, same job, same friends and same life. After a baby - a man's life tends to change a little bit with the additional responsibility. Every day remains more less the same for a man.

This post does not intend to generalize, it is an effort to pick on the social and cultural norms that define a woman's life. 

Once a girl reaches puberty the rules of the society changes drastically because the world outside is viewed as a horrendous place to live in. Girls are asked to be on guard - always. Her curfew limits are limited, her dressing style is scrutinized, she is asked to eat as much as she wants to weigh, she has to sit 'like a girl' and live 'like a girl'. Boys (may) also have the similar set of rules and I would like to not discuss about it much here because by itself it is a different topic.

Once a women gets married, her immediate family changes, her job changes (depending on where her husband works at times) and her responsibility changes. Even if everything around her remains, nothing inside of her does. Waking up to doing things out of love, being taunted by the other women who finds it difficult to accept that 'her son' now has another women in his life, cooking to the taste of the new family, getting accustomed to a different lifestyle, answering questions about how and why she does things, the extended family thinks its fine to ask you even intimate questions because they believe its out of concern and its their effort to understand you, screaming inside to the bullshit and act as if everything is fine and finally, sometimes living a life she never imagined.

But here comes the twist, not every women faces this, but most of them do. Giving birth to a child is an extraordinary experience no doubt. But, what nobody tells a women is how much she'd feel and be different. She will no longer be herself. She will feel so different and disconnected with the new her. She will now be awake or rather conscious at a whole new level that you never knew existed. She will be awake even when you think she is asleep. She will hear her child every second and will feel like she is listening to her baby's voice even when the she is ummm... flushing the toilet. She will go ahead wash things over and over again because she wants it to be 'clean', she is actively thinking of her little baby's schedule and how she can fit in her life in it. Bathing and eating becomes a luxury nothing else is of priority. Don't get me wrong, she actually enjoys it, no doubt.

A woman becomes and is always 'vulnerable'. I leave it here with that. Everyday a women has to decide her life around constantly trying to keep herself safe. Trying to decide what she has to do so she does not put herself in danger or rather she ensures she does not become a prey. The feeling of having to watch your back always isn't empowering. A women has to remember that she is not a half of anything or anyone. She was created as a whole, just like a man.

Why do we have to celebrate a day, exclusively? Because it is a way to thank all the men around the world for ensuring a women's safety and well-being by being a real man. It is to remind women that the world is a great place to live in and every effort they make is appreciated and recognized by the 'real men' of the society. A man holding the door (no, I am not asking a man to hold the door, but when he does) for a women is as important as a man standing up for a women. This day is to remember all the men who make the effort and all the women who recognize and appreciate the effort.

Let me tell you something every women wants to tell every man in her life - thanks for respecting and loving the women in your life.

Happy gentleman's day!

Five things we take for granted

Many of you would have noticed that I hadn't posted anything in the last two weeks. It was a nightmare to be down with a viral fever the same time my baby was down with a viral fever.

Over the last couple of days I realized five things I had taken for granted all along.

Breathing

Yes, you read it right, breathing tops the list of things we take for granted. The normal process of inhaling and exhaling without even being conscious of it is a blessing. Imagine if you had to use a nebulizer or alike to get yourself to breath. I woke up unable to breathe. My nose bled, humidifier helped to an extent but the dry cold air just didn't feel good. Having to breathe to keep myself alive seemed too much of an chore.

I remembered the days I sighed, breathed deep, exhaled in relief - breathing is the only way to stay alive. To make yourself aware of your life and to live in the moment all you need to do is be conscious of your breathing. You can kick out negative thoughts by just focusing on your breathing for a minute i.e, sixty long seconds.

Health

Most of us have one blessing that we take for granted the most. It's our health. As it is, irrespective of whether you like it in the now. Your health is helping you live today. Work towards making it stronger, healthier and better with every passing day.

What you do

When I was sick I literally had no energy to do anything. I just dragged myself to keep the house running. My husband helped me with most of it, but it hit my self-esteem bad. When you come to a point in life when you can actually not be able to do anything, you realize how much you had taken it for granted. Whatever you are doing right now, as a student, employee, home maker or friend has a special purpose in this world. If you are unable to do what you are doing it will dawn on you that the most important person you have taken for granted is you and your health. Never underestimate what you do!

Sleep

I had a great aversion to sleeping. I always put everything else before sleep; reading, talking, exercising, chores - if there was something incomplete I always had the tendency to compromise on my sleep to attain success. My baby did exactly the opposite of it. She played a little less than usual, slept well and ate well - she recovered way before me. Realization hit me with a lightening. The next time you are feeling down and tired, take a nap. Get rest, give yourself a break a much deserved break and you will recover way faster than you imagine. Sleep plays an important role in your life.

Sleep has a beautiful way of reminding you of a new day, the promises to keep, the goals to attain and your hopes are replenished because you are no longer working against time. In a state of true calm you will be able to let go and relax which will actually open more doors that you ever saw.

Saying Thanks

I always tell my family how grateful I am to have them in my life on occasions. But this is one time I realized that saying 'thanks' for even little things will make you feel better. I said thanks to my mailman for carrying the parcel right up to my door and his smile warmed my heart, I thanked my neighbor for some home cooked food because it made me feel cared for, I thanked my mom for calling up to check on me everyday because it made me realize how much 'distance' is a mere word. I thanked a fellow reader for checking on me when I hadn't posted anything in a while because it rejuvenated my hope of writing. I thanked my husband for staying with me to ensure I was healthy because it made me realize how lucky I am.

If you receive something and think it is no big deal just go ahead and 'thank' it will make you feel better and make you realize how important the people in your life are.

Be happy with what you have and who you are at the same time striving to be better. Never take positivity and optimism for granted. Stay happy!